There’s a lot of misinformation out there, so much so that trying to tell the real news from the fake stuff is not always easy.
But there is one thing that goes beyond misinformation into the land of out and out lie and that is any package that has TEAR HERE TO OPEN written on it.
Puh-leez. Trying to open any package by gripping where it says to TEAR HERE and pulling is like trying to open King Tut’s tomb with a toothpick. I am not sure if packages have gotten stronger or I have gotten weaker, but now I never go near any package without a trusty pair of stout scissors at my side.
The very worst packages are the ones that use several layers of thick plastic to enclose something like tweezers or maybe an ounce of moisturizer. In addition to scissors, those types of packages need a utility knife, leather gloves and a soundproof area so no one hears you turning the air blue as you try to get the $#%@ thing open.
I am sure food companies do their best to make the food they sell safe and accessible, but in my opinion, they need to do better. Or at least they can make zip locks that really lock and bags that really open.
News stories have been reporting about the overabundance of plastic garbage on the planet. That can’t possibly be fake news. Look around you and it’s hard to figure out why we aren’t drowning in plastic bottles, bags and those ultrathin films that come on appliances and often aren’t seen until the appliance is a few years old.
Plastic is everywhere, even in our blood supposedly. Just for fun, I counted the number of plastic things I had to open to make a simple fish sandwich. First, the bag of frozen fish filets, then the plastic sleeve that held the cheddar cheese, then the bread bag. The tartar sauce came in a plastic jar, but the pickles came in a glass jar.
Why would pickles come in glass? It must be due to something in the pickling process because finding anything in a glass jar these days is like finding someone who still writes checks to pay for their groceries. Come to think of it, wine doesn’t come in plastic bottles either. Perhaps we should focus on a diet based on pickles and wine. National health, along with our moods, might improve significantly.
Plastic doesn’t go anywhere, ever, unless it’s properly recycled. In other words, given how too many people think recycling is one of those tasks somebody else is taking care of, the possibility that we might someday drown in plastic seems plausible.
Every so often you’ll hear about products coming in refillable bottles, which reminds me of the good old days when everything came in glass and some bottles you could return to the grocery store to get your deposit back. That might be an idea to revisit. If there’s a payoff involved, people tend to take it more seriously.
Admittedly, it would have to be a worthwhile chunk of change to bring back an empty bottle these days. I think it used to be something like a nickel for a pop bottle. People won’t bend over to pick up a nickel off the sidewalk now.
Or maybe we need to investigate alternative ways to package coffee, tartar sauce and cheese slices. Some things like coffee can be bagged. Tartar sauce and cheese not so much.
There are no simple answers other than to keep your eyes open for goods not sold in plastic shrouds, and since that isn’t going to be easy, always keep a good pair of scissors on hand.
Oh, and maybe have a nice glass of wine with some pickles to help with the opening process.
Nell Musolf is freelance writer based in Mankato.