TRAVERSE CITY — In 2014, Russ Knopp, who operates Comfort Keepers, a successful business that provides in-home care to seniors in northern Michigan, ventured out of his comfort zone.
After attending an event hosted by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northwestern Michigan, he applied to become a “Big,” volunteering to mentor a “Little” whose upbringing, he soon learned, bore no resemblance whatsoever to the loving and stable life that he had led.
“In my day-to-day life, I saw too many kids who did not have good direction in their lives,” he said. “They didn’t seem to see an alternative way of living. Big Brothers was having a fundraiser and there were lots of young men on the waiting list. I thought, ‘It’s easy to write a check; let’s stand up.’ “
Russ’ decision to stand up changed Isaac Rose’s life forever. Then 13, he had a father who had been in and out of prison for possessing and manufacturing heroin; his overwhelmed mother and her boyfriend were often absent; and Isaac had found himself cast in the unimaginable role of being a surrogate parent to his five siblings — a sister, two half-sisters and two stepbrothers — who ranged in age from six to 12.
He was angry, he was a poor student and he was badly in need of a mature adult to confide in.
“Russ knew that I just needed someone to talk to,” Isaac said. “After we got to know each other, he started mentoring me. . . . He taught me how to keep track of my homework and how to calm myself down when I was angry so I didn’t get in trouble.
“I would like to say I was mature for my age, but I definitely had outbursts. I’d been in my fair share of fights and arguments, and I used to skip school a lot. I would get sensory overload and leave.”
Russ was astonished to see the burdens that Isaac was carrying at such a tender age.
“I don’t think he’d ever had someone listen to him,” Russ said. “In the early days, he’d share with me a lot of anger. He’d say, ‘I’m going to beat the crap out of that kid’ and I’d say, ‘No, you’re not.’
“The adults in his life were living such disruptive lives that it was easy for him to get lost in the shuffle and get angry. As I got to know the situation, it amazed me how the adults in his life would weaponize the kids against each other. I wanted to show him that there’s a different way to live your life. This isn’t how everybody does it.”
Russ said he taught Isaac to live by a pair of mottos. The first was, “Do what you say you’re going to do.” When he first met Isaac, Russ said, Isaac had never had a birthday party — even though he had been promised one — and had never even received a birthday card until Russ sent him one.
The second motto pertained to Isaac’s periodic threats that he was going to beat up kids who were tormenting him. It was, “What good’s it going to do?”
One of the goals of Big Brothers Big Sisters is for volunteer Bigs to nurture friendships with their Littles that endure for years. The relationship between Russ, 65, and Isaac, 23, stands out because it has lasted for nearly a decade.
Their friendship is particularly heart-warming to Cecilia Chesney, Big Brothers Big Sisters’ chief executive officer, because she knows both Russ and Isaac well and has seen their relationship blossom over the years.
“I know Russ personally because he’s a good friend of mine,” she said. “I think Russ has the ability to be both compassionate and empathetic, but he’s also a realist; he understands people. He’s as genuine as the day is long.”
Chesney said the changes she has seen in Isaac since he entered the program are remarkable.
“When Isaac was young, he went through so much trauma,” she said. “He was sad and he was anxious. And now, he’s self-confident and an open book. He’s such a likable kid. He’s got a big heart.”
Even after reaching adulthood at age 18, Isaac endured dramatic changes in his life that saw him move to Florida for a year and, later, reverse parenting roles with his father after his father got out of prison and turned his life around.
One of the consequences of his father’s criminal past, Isaac said, was that he exited prison with unpaid drug debts. After he got out, assailants who were trying to collect a debt beat him with a 2-by-4, which Isaac said put his father in a temporary coma and left him brain-damaged.
Today, Isaac and his father live together in Charlevoix.
“We do much better now,” Isaac said. “He went and got the help he needed and I make sure he stays on the right track. . . . We have a lot of things in common when he’s clean.”
Although Isaac is now living independently, working as a service technician at an auto dealership in Traverse City, he and Russ have maintained contact, getting together regularly to satisfy a mutual passion — eating cheeseburgers. Earlier this week, they met for dinner at Don’s Drive-In for conversation over cheeseburgers.
Isaac said both the cheeseburger and the ambiance at Don’s were “fantastic.”
Also welcome, he said, was some advice that Russ imparted that evening about a troubling personal issue that he was struggling to manage.
Russ’ advice: “Don’t come to me with problems; come to me with solutions.”
Isaac still marvels at how much his life has changed since he met Russ.
“Once I opened up to Russ, which was a couple short months into knowing him, he definitely became an emotional pillar,” he said. “It was eye-opening to learn that if I worked hard enough, my life could become like that.”
For his part, Russ said he feels grateful that he’s been able to have a positive influence on Isaac’s life, but he doesn’t attribute that to any unique communication skills that he possesses.
“The message to anybody who’s considering being a Big is you don’t have to have any special mentoring skills,” he said. “All you have to do is be willing to listen to someone and share some advice.”