The night was so cold, it even sounded cold. Through my sleep, I could hear the trees groaning and crackling, the wind whistling. When dawn began to break, the sighs of the cold night began to turn to rustlings of possibility. Little Stormy left her night watch by the front door and jumped into bed beside me. My husband brought me a cup of coffee.
Stormy’s growl was low and deep; a warning. I looked up from my coffee to see what was upsetting her. Outside the window was a beautiful doe looking right at us, ears twitching in attention. Such a gift!
The deer stayed a while before slowly, gracefully returning to the woods. I went downstairs, poured another cup of coffee, took it to my desk and began my workday. The blessing of the doe’s visit stayed with me like a friend. It is just such little blessings that make life bearable, in cold, dark times like these.
Such gifts of pure grace occur without any action on our part; they are unearned and unexpected. These graces slip quietly into our awareness, taking their place beside our fears and sadness; there is room for both in our consciousness.
My dear friend and colleague in ministry, Pastor Elsa Marshall wrote to me on Thanksgiving;
“Upon turning on the TV I was immediately hit with an image that made me sit down, turn off the TV and take long deep breaths. How abruptly and carelessly they toss out images of bewildering cruelty, scenes uploaded into the info-cosmos to be branded into our mind’s eye and dropped into our heart’s open spaces … I certainly am not fully equipped to accept daily violence as run of the mill, same old same old, with a resigned and deadened casualness.”
The news of the day rightly makes us weep. Ugly, brutal wars; open hostility and harassment toward LGBTQ+ people; violent rhetoric dehumanizing immigrants and people of color; horrifying increases in hate crimes toward our Jewish, Muslim and Asian neighbors; mass shootings; environmental disasters; mean, ugly talk. Has there ever been such a time as this, when hatred is on such bold display? “Bewildering cruelty” as Elsa described it.
The challenge before us this holy season is to be vigilant in ensuring that cruelty is never normalized and always addressed. As people of faith, we are called to move through these desperate days with open hearts and deep compassion.
We begin with prayer. We continue in prayer. We rest in prayer. The German theologian, Meister Eckhart, once famously said, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.” So, we move through our days open to wonder, tuned towards grace, enjoying the daily spiritual discipline of spending time enjoying nature and saying “thank you” for our many gifts and graces, even in such a time as this.
“Shadowlands” is C.S. Lewis’ story of his life with his wife Joy, who died of cancer shortly after they were married. He wrote,
“Joy is dying. I don’t pray to change God. I pray because I can’t help myself! I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me!”
We don’t pray to change God. We pray to be transformed into conduits of grace.
This hard and holy season let’s enter in to each moment with intentionality. Although at times we may feel inadequate, we are not helpless and we are not powerless. We have voices with which to speak out against injustice and with which to offer words of kindness and courage. We have something (large or small) to offer to humanitarian and advocacy organizations; my family chooses to support Doctors Without Borders and World Central Kitchen in addition to our own local charities and our church. As Pierre Teilhard De Chardin said, “We must add one stitch, no matter how small it be, to the magnificent tapestry of life.”
I’ll close with a poem by the late great theologian, preacher and Dean of Boston University’sMarsh Chapel, The Rev. Dr. Howard Thurman;
I Will Light Candles This Christmas
I will light Candles this Christmas; Candles of joy despite all sadness, Candles of hope where despair keeps watch, Candles of courage for fears ever present,
Candles of peace for tempest-tossed days, Candles of grace to ease heavy burdens, Candles of love to inspire all my living, Candles that will burn all the year long.
Whatever holidays you celebrate in this holy season, please remember that light shines most brightly against darkness, so light your candles and share your light with the world.
The Rev. Rona Tyndall is pastor of West Gloucester Trinitarian Congregational Church.