Ouch! People make stupid comments all the time. Provocative language is a key element in current culture wars — efforts to generalize and judge others that mostly have no basis in reality.
A case in point: Put-downs that goad stepparents, the people who often step in after a divorce or the death of a parent. Not only is this insensitive, but it is also politically unwise.
Blended families are growing by tens of thousands each month. The U.S. Census Bureau reports 1,300 new stepfamilies are formed every day.
Large numbers of stepfamilies may be news to Republican vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance; otherwise, how can he claim Democrats, like Vice President Kamala Harris, are “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”
This whopper is a perfect example of bizarre comments that go too far. If we don’t stop and think pretty soon, no group will be safe from such remarks.
Stepparents aren’t theoretical; they are real and abundant. Look around your city and state, and you will find adults who are stepparents. These are not aliens threatening your family values. They are parents trying to solidify families that may have broken during a crisis.
It may also be politically silly to disrespect so many well-meaning voters. Melded families represent key voting blocs and live in important swing states. The nonpartisan Pew Research Center has found that “young people, blacks, and those without a college degree are significantly more likely to have step-relatives. Among those under age 30, more than half (52%) report that they have at least one step relative.”
My family tree includes stepparents, and even an aunt and uncle who have stepped into parenting roles. These relationships have turned out to be stabilizing and vital — in one case, life-saving. They are a testament to the value of stepfamilies in our society.
As we roll along this election season, try to apply the common sense test to hyper-hyperbolic comments.
If we normalize highly divisive and damaging rhetoric, we may become culture warriors ourselves — and in danger of losing our humanity in the process.